澳洲来一个好笑的英文笑话汇总贴,不好笑的不贴。

在澳大利亚英语学习




笑了请加分~!谢谢!

A guy walks into a bar carrying a backpack and says to the bartender, "Hey, if I show you something amazing, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender thinks and replies, "Well, it'd have to be pretty amazing…" The guy opens his backpack and pulls out a miniature piano, and what looks just like a tiny man, only a foot tall, who sits at the piano and begins to play beautifully.

The bartender says, "OK, I'll pay that, that is amazing. Here's your drink. But would you tell me how you happened to find this little guy?" The guy pulls an antique oil lamp out of his backpack and says, "It was thanks to this lamp. You rub it and a genie comes out. You only get one wish, though. Here, why don't you try it?"

So the bartender thinks it over for a moment, then rubs the lamp, and out pops the genie. "OK, I am the genie of the lamp. You've already heard the deal; one wish only. What is your wish?" The bartender smiles and says, "I wish for a million bucks!"

Suddenly, the bar is full of birds! But not just any birds: ducks. There are ducks on the floor, ducks in the seats, ducks in the light fixtures, ducks everywhere! The barman can't decide whether to be dismayed or furious. "What the hell is going on?!"

The guy shrugs and shouts over the quacking, "The genie is hard of hearing! Do you really think I would've wished for a twelve-inch pianist?"

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the 3 rings of marriage
The Engagement Ring
The Wedding Ring
The SufferRing



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Wedding is the only day when a boy stand on stage
& watch other girls dressed beautiful
& think…

Where were these gorgeous girls before today…



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there should be 4 rings in a guy's life
first, Engagement Ring,
second, Wedding Ring
Third, BoRing
Last, SufferRing

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20 inch penIS will be very amazing.

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wife and huspand are enjoying some wonderful wine.
wife is very happy and starts to say: oh dear, do you know how much i love you? without you i could not even survive.
Husband returns: oh dear, is that you or the wine talking?
Wife smailes and says: oh, dear, it is me talking to the wine.  

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第一个好。

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LOLed...

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a guy meet a beautiful girl in the pub.
guy ask: Hi, are you free tonight?
girl answer: not free, but cheap.

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Ls的让我想起那个经典的新移民面试笑话:
面试开始,握手后,
面试官寒暄: How are you going today?
新移民答: I am going by train...

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Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea  (no eye deer)

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A: Still no idea

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no genitalia?
A: Still no f***ing idea

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lol

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loool

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( context : midnight, wife in bedroom, clanging noise from downstairs )
W: why you up late and so drunk?
H: i was thinking about your dad.
W: why my dad?
H: u remember same day 20 yrs ago, he found us making out in your car and pushed the the gun against my head said either i marry you or he'd sure send me to jail for 20 yrs...
W: Ic..hon that's so sweet of you to remember our 20th anniversary ...
H: I would have been released today...

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poor guy

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我也来说个,其实是我自己闹得笑话。
A:How do you find Australia?
B:I found it on Google map....
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