澳洲挫折教育的方方面面

在澳大利亚小学教育



SMH的教育栏目的记者Anna Patty，在周末连续发表两篇关于对于小孩子的挫折教育方面的新闻报道，我先译一篇出来给大家看。

Learning from failure provides valuable lesson
http://www.smh.com.au/national/e ... -20100402-rjy9.html

2010-4-3 22:20 上传

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Helping them out …
Megan Cliff at home in the northern beaches with Kale, 4, and Alicia, 6.
Photo: Peter Rae

教育家说对孩子来说失败是成功之母。

Megan Cliff女士是两个孩子的母亲（6岁的Alicia和4岁的Kale），她说她自己来自于兄弟姐妹7个的大家庭，我们每一个的成长没有被父母非常上心关照过。如果你自己孩子不多，你就能对孩子们更上心。特别是如果你在年龄较大的时候才有了孩子，你就会更宝贝他们。

Megan Cliff女士过去是小学老师，现在是一位家庭主妇，她对于孩子是否可以失败的辩论有着自己的看法。

作为一名教师，我曾经对于家长替他们的孩子做回家作业非常不满。但是现在我意识到，除非你帮孩子忙，否则孩子无法完成作业。现在的孩子们对此得做的更多，但是对于他们的年龄来说有些勉强。

这位母亲说，我小学Year 6的时候才有第一个Project，是关于“种子”。我只需要收集尽可能多的各种种子并把它们粘帖在作业本上就行了，我自己独立完成完全没有问题。

但是我6岁的女儿Alicia在Year 1带回家的project是关于“热带雨林和海洋”，事情就变得完全不同了。

我需要找一些书给孩子看，解释亚马逊热带雨林。为了让project可以符合学校的教学要求，我得动手帮助孩子。

我是一名完美主义者，我女儿Alicia也是。她上个星期在学校里测验有一个单词的拼写错了，她就整夜的问我要紧吗？我说犯错当然没问题啦。现代的父母们比我们上一代的家长更快地成为了一名辅导者。

学校老师大概已经不需要红笔批改作业了，因为家长已经成了孩子们回家作业的质检员。现代的家长们通常会此非常焦虑，因为他们担心自己不能帮到孩子，那样的话自己的孩子在学业竞争上就会落后。

现在父母在这方面走的似乎太远，以至于导致一些教育家们警告因为不让孩子知道失败的滋味而会付出的代价。

1970年代的教育观念是，老师对孩子不要太高，而在社交能力上对孩子更负责。

Stephen Dinham是Wollongong University教育系的前任教授，现在为Australian Council for Educational Research.=工作，他说，今天的很多老师都害怕用红笔来修改错误的答案，更不要说让孩子不及格了。

我们犯了一个根本性的错误，我们认为对孩子更负责的话我们得对他们要求不要太严。

任何给予空洞的表扬其实是达不到预期目的的。孩子得到了一个华而不实的自我感觉，他们的能力是固定的，努力没有用。然后他们就会面对一个邪恶的大千世界。

Y世代（Generation Y)已经走向了工作岗位，他们空洞的自信和自负的膨胀正在显现。一份美国的研究报告指出，80后和90后想要更多的休闲时间和更少的工作时间，但是又不想牺牲薪水和好的工作职位。他们中的很多人有着超过其能力之外不切实际的期望。

这份研究报告的作者之一San Diego State University的Jean Twenge教授说，她同意悉尼学校校长们对于家长的忠告-告诉孩子犯错是很正常的没啥大问题。犯错并且轻轻地改正是学习的最好办法。

这位教授在她的【The Narcissism Epidemic】一书中说，父母应该告诉自己的孩子：“我爱你们”，而不是对孩子说：“你很特别，你可以成为你想成为的任何人”。

“感觉特别”就意味着对于“特别的对待”的期望，你的父母也许认为你很特别，但是世界上的其他人可能不这样认为。这可能很困难被调整，尤其在工作领域里。

来自于悉尼蓝山地区Medlow Bath的家长 Rhonda Geddes，是一位三个男孩的母亲，她的三个孩子分别是4岁，7岁和9岁，都在公立小学读书。这位母亲说她觉得她得介入孩子的功课帮助他们完成回家作业。

我的孩子们现在所学远远多于我小时在学校里的内容，如果学校给他们的目标是现实的那么孩子们犯错是没关系的，但是现在学校设置的目标实在是太高了，我们做家长的感到一定要提供给孩子帮助。

这更像在考家长而不是考学生。

悉尼大学的教育心理和研究系的教授Andrew Martin说，对孩子成功完成特定任务的表扬远远比空洞地说孩子多么多么的优秀有帮助。让孩子从失败中学习是为了让孩子以后的成功。

即使你是个Helicopter Parent（指过分关心孩子的家长），你的孩子也还是要面对困难和挫折。我们需要不断鼓励孩子在挫折发生时如何去面对，如何去学习教训并继续向前走。

这位教授对于今天的年轻人有很积极正面的看法，我会对孩子吹毛求疵或者对孩子没有高期待都很谨慎，有积极的目标和抱负都年轻人是一件好事。

Kincoppal Rose Bay School的校长 Hilary Johnston-Croke认为，提醒家长孩子可以从失败和失望中学习教训是非常重要的。

Helicopter Parent对他们孩子的成长要求事事完美。但是宝宝是从不断的跌倒中学会走路的。

如果你参加一次考试，没有好好的审题，或者时间不够，你们你可以从中学到很多教训并学会在下次避免重犯。

这位校长说学校需要提供一个积极向上的环境来告诉学生们 - 失败是没关系的，没有人因此会对其有负面的影响。

在Kincoppal Rose Bay School，学生们会去越南为当地的孤儿院做一些重体力工作。

NSW Secondary Principals Council的主席Jim McAlpine说，在公立小学的孩子有成功和失败经验，如果我们对孩子们有期待，孩子们也取得好的成绩，那么我们应该表扬他们。但是如果孩子们并没有取得他们应该取得的成绩时，我们也没有必要给他们一个虚假的表扬。

[ 本帖最后由 patrickzhu 于 2010-5-10 21:08 编辑 ]

评论
文章里有一个特别的词Helicopter Parent - 直升机家长，很有趣，特别查了下WIKI，解释如下：

Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. The term was originally coined by Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay in their 1990 book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.

Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not.

In Scandinavia, this phenomenon is known as curling parenthood and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children.

It is also called "overparenting". Parents try to resolve their child's problems, and try to stop them coming to harm by keeping them out of dangerous situations.

Some college professors and administrators are now referring to "Lawnmower parents" to describe mothers and fathers who attempt to smooth out and mow down all obstacles, to the extent that they may even attempt to interfere at their children's workplaces, regarding salaries and promotions, after they have graduated from college and are supposedly living on their own.

As the children of "helicopter parents" graduate and move into the job market, personnel and human resources departments are becoming acquainted with the phenomenon as well. Some have reported that parents have even begun intruding on salary negotiations. An extension of the term, "Black Hawk parents," has been coined for those who cross the line from a mere excess of zeal to unethical behavior, such as writing their children's college admission essays.

我怎么觉得论坛里Helicopter Parents好像很多啊

[ 本帖最后由 patrickzhu 于 2010-4-4 09:44 编辑 ]

评论
我怎么觉得论坛里Helicopter Parents好像很多啊 :)

对照一下，我也是围着孩子转的Helicopter Parents。

不过，我和lg都不太check女儿的学校作业，反正老师会批改，有了叉叉，我们就知道她哪里出错。也不帮她做project，她自己很喜欢上网查资料，有时还教我如何如何，Power point就是她教我的。

评论
这是昨天的另一份相关报道

Helicopter parents not doing enough to let children fail
Anna Patty
April 3, 2010 - 10:27PM

THE belief that regular praise will improve the self-esteem of students has backfired, with educators urging over-anxious parents to let their children fail so they can learn from their mistakes.

Parents were also doing too much for their children who were becoming less resilient and unable to cope with failure. Some were even too scared to put up their hand in class and risk giving the wrong answer.

As new research shows that members of Generation Y are entering the workforce with an inflated sense of their abilities, principals are warning ''helicopter parents'' against putting too much pressure on children to be successful, which could discourage them from risking failure.

Rod Kefford, the headmaster of Barker College, has warned: ''We are creating a generation of very fearful learners and the quality of our intellectual life will suffer as a result.''

Today's students are let down lightly by teachers and wrapped in cotton wool by some parents. But in the 1960s, it was not uncommon for teachers to tell students bluntly that they had given a wrong answer.

''Then someone invented the concept of self-esteem,'' Dr Kefford said. ''In some ways it has been the most damaging educational concept that has ever been conceived.

''We couldn't do anything that would upset or harm the self-esteem of students, which was very fragile, we were led to believe … That is when we stopped our proper work in the character formation in young people. If we are serious about building resilience, we have to let them fail. It is only through our failings in the learning process that we learn anything.'' He said schools needed to give children the confidence to risk failure to encourage more creative thinking.

''[Through] this fear we have of ever allowing them to fail, we are selling them short as human beings and as future adults,'' he said. One of the first empirical studies on generational differences in work values shows Generation Y or the ''millennials'' (born between 1982 and 1999) are entering the workforce overconfident and with a sense of entitlement. The research, led by Jean Twenge at San Diego State University and published in the Journal of Management, shows this generation wants money and the status of a prestigious job without putting in long hours. When they do not get the marks they expect at university or rise quickly enough in their jobs, they turn into quitters.

''More and more students are reaching university not knowing how to do things for themselves. Parents think they are helping young people by doing things for them but they are actually making them less independent,'' Professor Twenge said.

''It is now common for parents and teachers to tell children, 'you are special' and 'you can be anything you want to be'.'' While such comments are meant to encourage students and raise their self-esteem, experts say they can inflate students' egos.

''Feeling special often means the expectation of special treatment,'' she said. ''Your parents might think you're special but the rest of the world might not. This can be a difficult adjustment.''

This story was found at: http://www.smh.com.au/national/e ... -20100402-rjxy.html

评论
感觉我应该不会是helicopter parent类型的人，个性是太懒，精力不够

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个人体会，把孩子送补习学校的好处就是：孩子可以体会到“失败”-- 可以看到学校看不到的红叉叉和修改意见；可以尝到考试排名倒数的滋味；可以接触到严厉的老师。
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