孩子最近写的作文,我看了挺喜欢.
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Use the picture below as the basis for a piece of writing.
Write about something that happened or might have happened.
You can write about yourself and people you know, or about imaginary characters and events.
Your writing will be judged on the kind of situations, characters, events and feelings that you present and on how
well you express yourself.
A door with a lock
Who: you
Where: in a war
When: middle ages
What: war
War has changed the world, it has reshaped. I was born in war, my father was killed and my mother and I were locked in the darkness. Then my mother passed away. Every once in a while I would have visions, visions of me escaping. But it was ridiculous. The war was still going I had no idea of the world, I couldn’t escape, there was only a small hole that food came through but that wasn’t enough for me to fit. Could I escape?
A perfect plan, it was afternoon I knew food would come shortly. Then I heard heavy footsteps, clattering sounds. “This is my chance, or is it?”
I started screaming. The guard opened the door and as quickly as I can I punched the guard in his face. Blood flew out of his mouth then I punched him a few more times to make sure he was unconscious. I grabbed some food, his sword and sprinted outside.
I sneaked them and ran outside to the entrance. A giant hand knocked me over. A guard more than 2 metres tall lumbered towards me. I stood up but he knocked me down immediately like a bowling pin.
“Runts!” he spluttered.
Then I saw something.
There was a door, a door with a lock. I wiped my face and then punched the guard in his head.
“Idiot”, he shouted. He grabbed his club and swung it at me but he was too slow, I then delivered my final blow to his face sending him to the ground.
A key! I grabbed out the only key I had which my mother gave me before she died. I opened the door and light flooded around me. I was free. I had done it, something burned into my eyes. I was crying. It was evening and I ran as fast as I could into the dark woods. Survival was my next goal.
The door was the pathway for me to become a real man, a door to maturity, no more hiding, no more fear, and courage was what made me stand up as a brave man.
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记得我5年纪的时候写不出来这样的
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我们那会好像没有 creative writing吧,基本就是写事或描述人物,比如最难忘的事或者我的妈妈什么的
这边的作文想象力要丰富才能写的好
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写的很不错
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哎,我看了这个烂门的图,都不知道如何写,英文不谈了,用中文都写不出来
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好文采
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对不起我是来挑刺的。
I opened the door and light flooded around me. I was free. I had done it, something burned into my eyes. I was crying. It was evening and I ran as fast as I could into the dark woods.
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送饭时间是下午，看到带锁的门，想起妈妈给的唯一钥匙 （妈妈给他的信念）。
击倒巨人门卫（歌利亚），逃出牢笼，有了光（希望）。
然后外面仍是夜晚（黑暗），需要坚强地在成人世界里生存下去。
这位小朋友没这么强吧，这么多象征的意义在里面，应该是信主的小朋友
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我只是觉得最后那段,点出了那个门. 门象征着一种困难或者是束缚,一旦摆脱,逃出门外, 就会走向希望,自由和成功,当然未来还是充满了艰险...
你说的那几个含义我还真没看出来
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最后那一段我都写不出来 五年级这水平厉害
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小朋友作文好棒，羡慕！
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这小朋友是男生么。。。
Hunger games， Divergent 之类的书看多了。。。
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是男娃啊， 看书比较杂，Hunger games看过，最爱就是 Lord of the ring
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我家娃在家里“创作”完以后很开心，笑着和我说，他在故事里有多厉害，把那些守卫全打趴下了
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这编故事的能力不是一般的强啊！ 想象力太丰富，太能忽悠了。。。。
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这考奖学金,得全奖的节奏呀!
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Moon light 吧
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同意这位同学的看法。
真的写得非常好。考奖学金时候，如果在15~20 分钟之内能写完的话，应该会得非常高的分数。
“A key! I grabbed out the only key I had which my mother gave me before she died. I opened the door and light flooded around me. I was free. I had done it, something burned into my eyes. I was crying. It was evening and I ran as fast as I could into the dark woods. Survival was my next goal. ”
不好意思，鸡蛋里面挑骨头。 希望你不要介意。
如果有时间，让孩子想下如何改下文章，而不用这么多 ”I“ 同样能表达出孩子的意思，那就是 perfect 的了。这一小段里面用了 8 个 ”I“ 考试的时候，一定要避免的。
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前辈说的很对啊, 其实娃的作文功底并不深厚, 就是写故事的时候可以通过情节取胜......
他最喜欢写narrative题材的,写的过程很有激情,很享受,天马行空......
其他题材他就写的比较平淡,他认为没有太多发挥的余地
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他会不会有写了一大堆， 刹不住车的情况。。。 或许有时候会因为想太多， 写太多，偶然跑跑题。。。
最奇怪的是这个年纪的男孩子经常会写， 或说“死“来”死“去的。。。 估计也是那些书带来的副作用。。。
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跟俺家娃差不多， 写记叙文就很有热情， 老师也说想象力太好了， PERSUASIVE的话就要看话题了， 有时好有时差。
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不象女的，写流血之类的微暴力场景很形象，男孩子拉！
女的估计会对环境之类的加重描写。
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俺家娃确实喜欢在日记本上写故事,写起来就没完没了,条理性也差了,打打杀杀避免不了,尽是超人穿着神奇特制的衣服...
经常创作完后,神情恍惚,嘴里念念叨叨,身体做出各种功夫动作比划,然后假想攻击敌人....
俺娃还是分得清考试或作业那是严肃的事,刹不住车跑题万里之外的情况暂时没发现..... 也算万幸
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哈哈哈， 很可爱，肯定是个思路特别发散的孩子， 想象力丰富。。。
鼓励孩子弄个写作提纲， 写本书吧。。。
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不错，记叙文。
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